I'm excited to write this one. I'm excited because I've never actually put my thoughts out there for even myself to really understand. I think that is one of the main reasons I've never really expressed it to you yet, expressed that I would even want more then a friendship. It's kind of like that high school game. The one where you just want him to notice because you're to shy to say something.
The reason why I have a crush on you, I'm not very clear of myself. And that is the honest truth. I've spent just as much time with other gentlemen as I have with you but, you still till this day, you stick out to me. It could be because of our past or it could be because we both really choose to ignore things. I've tried all my tastics to rid you from my life but, you seem to always just pop up. Out of sight, out of mine doesn't really work in theory I guess. I've ignored you when you're around, I've stopped all contact with you, I've came out & told you I don't want to do this anymore, even tried to just stay out of eyesight for a couple months at a time however, it never works & we end up in the same position we were in before something hit the fan. Sometimes when I feel like someone has disrespected me, I will just wipe them out of my life....which you've seen happen but, with you, I always come back.
I adore the friendship we have. Even though it is the way it is. Shit can hit the fan one minute then the next minute it's like it never happened & everything is back to normal. I love hanging out with you, it's never not a good time. You always respect what I have to say & knows my limits on what I will let someone say to me although you've crossed the line a couple times, you managed to get better, Ha! You are a great person with average flaws like anyone else. We are opposites sometimes & similar others. And although sometimes you may make me mad, the best thing to me is that we are friends & I am happy that you are apart of my life.
I've told you time & time before whatever makes you happy, makes me happy for you. If all we ever stay is friends, I will respect that. My theory is at the end of the day a man will be right where he wants to be & despite what you may think, I am not mad at that at all.
With Love,
Gerri
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