Larry,
First all let me start out by saying that I hope all is well. It's been a few years since I've talked with you & I know your life has changed, hopefully for the better. I also hope that your Mom, Tina, & your brothers are doing well to. I hope happiness is with each & everyone of you. But, moving on from that.
I met you at a pivotal time in my life. Everything for me was a change. New location, new outlook, just all around everything was new to me including our relationship. I remember the day I first met you at Cal's house but, I had to leave early to do my Econ homework, I remember when you came to my apartment the very next morning with Shane & Eric to check the fire alarm battery. One, you discovered I lived there & Two, ya'll woke me up out of my sleep....it was a Friday. I also remember my plot I made by calling in our plugged bathroom drain hoping you would be the maintenance man they called out to come fix it....LMAO! Aww man, good times those were in 11203-A! Hahahaha!!!! But, I remember everything really. The best thing is what you taught me which, I'm not sure if you knew you taught me anything.
Now that I look back on our relationship, you opened up my eyes to so many things I had really not experienced. That I wish to thank you for. Overall, our relationship was good. We didn't argue, until the end. We trusted each other, until the end, & I don't think we really loved each other, I think we were confused with lust, until the end. You knew it was the first time I fell in love with someone & I waited a while after you did to tell you those 3 words but, I think I was confused. I think it's just that everything was new & I just wanted to go with the flow but, not to say I couldn't have loved you because you are a great person with a great story of success to tell.
I was hurt when we broke up & for a long time & now I know it was because I was convinced we were going to make it & I was angry that you gave up so easy. But, in reality, we were never going to because you weren't emotionally available to me the whole time which, I learned the hard way. So that made it look so easy for you to me where I made it look so hard for myself. Drama for love is exhausting & until this day, I refuse to fight how I fought for you. A man is going to be where he wants to be at the end of the day & if it's not with me when I've shown who I am then at that time & maybe my potential to who I can become later, it's not worth my fight because my fight is of no worth to him. That, I learned that, from you.
I'm no longer mad. I'm not angry at you, none of that. It's over & done & has been for a long time. I don't want you to think I wrote this to you as a negative thing or to bring up old stuff. You, in theory, are my favorite ex boyfriend, if that makes any sense. I don't like the way things ended for us, I'm sad it was so overwhelmed with unnecessary, pointless drama that we were never able to just be friends but, I understand, we were young. I'm not going to lie, I laugh at some of it now. ItUntil this day, I still, with my whole heart, wish you nothing but the best. I wrote this to you not to trash you or to call bad upon you, I'm not bitter. I simply just wrote my favorite lesson.
With Love,
Gerri
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